Knowing Your Worth

Just for fun, this morning I decided to work out how much I am worth as a stay at home mum in terms of money.

 I know many mums sadly can't afford to stay home and must go work, I understand that would be so hard - you're all rockstars!!

I also know that it's difficult to feel like you aren't contributing to the financial struggles of the family if you stay home.
So with that in mind, I decided to add up an average of how much my services would cost if they were performed by someone else, to give me a sense of my financial contribution so to speak.

This is only the things I do during 'work' hours..

If I'm being very conservative, I would say I do one hour of housework a day during work hours. At $25 an hour for 5 days - that's $125

Childcare on average for children 0-3yrs, 5 days a week comes out at $500 each. For for the 'average' family of two, you're providing $1000 of care each week!

So, based on only doing minimal housework, the 'average' stay at home mum of two is earning a whopping $58,500 a year! That's higher than the average single full time salary right there without even looking into all the other things we do!

For me, knowing my salary worth gives me a massive sense of self worth and I feel as though I too am financially valuable to the family even if it isn't coming in to my bank account each week.

Basically, what I want to reinforce is that whether you are a working mum or a stay at home mum, your time is so valuable and you are making a huge contribution to your family financially.
Go you good thing!!

Double Trouble? No. Double Snuggles.

Last night my poor little Miss I was in pain and having trouble falling asleep.
 She is so different to her twin sister, she needs more touches to fill up her 'love bank' and requires a much gentler approach in general. As I sat next to her bed, waiting for her to drift off and I was thinking about just how incredibly lucky I am.
I get double kisses, double cuddles, double love.
I have two beautiful, kind, stubborn, loving, strong-willed and spirited little twin girls.

This morning I was reflecting on how important those moments are.
The quiet moments, the loving cuddles.
They make me really appreciate my girls.
So many strangers unknowingly make hurtful comments about twins - "double trouble", "you've got your hands full!", "better you than me!".
The more you hear these things, the easier it is to think this way.
Remember - Twins are a blessing.
  am so thankful for my girls. Double trouble? No. Double snuggles!!

My Mission in Life - Minimising Housework

My house can look immaculate one minute and like bomb has exploded the next. In order to maintain some degree of sanity, these are the things that I have started doing.. 

Every person is allocated one cup, one plate and one set of cutlery to last each day. After each use, they are quickly rinsed and placed in the dish rack until the next meal or snack. The dishwasher only then gets packed and run each evening. Otherwise, I would need to run the dishwasher 3 times a day. Literally. 

Mini hand held vacuums are extremely handy. I only got one recently and I LOVE IT. It means those little messes that appear after every meal take a mere 20 seconds to clean up, and prevents them from spreading all through the house. 

It also means that the vacuuming at the end of the day takes half the time!

Use your little helpers. As frustrating or stressful as it can be to have 'help' with the housework.. If you give them the right jobs, it can reduce your stress and your work load.

 My kids love cleaning with spray bottles and cloths. This is a job that they can do independantly and is hard to make big messes. They wipe down the tables, clean the windows, cupboard doors and occasionally the floor (if I just need to occupy them for a bit longer!).

All the while they are learning life skills,  burning energy and having fun!!

Have a 'tidy up' time at the end of the day with your kids. Before horror hour hits, put on some music and tidy up together. By the time the kids are two, they are perfectly capable of helping put the toys away. I'm the first to admit that I forget to do this most of the time. But I am going to do my best to make this part of our routine.
I think it is both beneficial and important for my kids to be a part of tidying every day.

Please God, make the wind stop.

Growing up as the daughter of a primary school teacher has affected me in many ways. I have strong opinions about names, I am very conscious of spelling and grammar, and I love lists.

One of the many things I learnt from my mum was that children behave terribly in windy weather.. Although, I never understood how she came to this conclusion... Until today.

Today is incredibly windy and my children are acting as though they have been eating red frogs all morning, haven't slept for two days and hate everything in the world.

I am getting through today minute by minute and trying my hardest to love my children through their many, many tantrums. Most importantly, I am resisting doing what I feel like doing - yelling, crying and drinking wine.

I was so mortified when this happened on the weekend..

I knew this day would come. I just never thought that it would happen so soon. 

One of my children was 'that' child at a party. 

So, here we are at a friends house, celebrating a birthday with a relaxed Sunday evening Aussie barbecue. There is another family with four kids there that we had never met before as well, all the parents are having a chat on the back porch and the mobile kids are running around having a ball. 

Next minute, Mr X has punched a child twice his height and age in the face. 

Yep, not ideal.. But we made him apologise and hoped it was just excitement and being overwhelmed so we could move on.

 A few minutes later, he hits another child. 

By this stage I was praying that the ground would open up and swallow me to save me from my embarrassment and shame. The other parents are being nice, smiling and shrugging it off as 'kids being kids' to try and comfort me. 

At this point I should add, that all the other children are playing beautifully together without incident.

After a stint in time out and an apology, Mr X was warned that another incident would get him a ticket out of the party and straight into bed. 

A mere ten minutes later a little girl could be seen crying and running away from a stick-wielding Mr X who had just hit her in the face. 

My wingman swooped in and took our little boxing boy home to bed. 

I was absolutely mortified and spent the rest of the party choking back tears and apologising over and over.

Note - Mr X is going through a stage where he expresses his frustration through violence. 

We have been talking to him about it and been very strict with our discipline so he knows very well that this is not an OK way to deal with your emotions. This is the first time he has been violent towards someone outside of the family and I trust that with our consistent and calm discipline, he will grow out of it soon. 

Gay? So What?

Today my gorgeous sister-in-law and her lovely girlfriend were over for a couple of hours helping me to get in front of the housework and giving me a chance to visit the bathroom solo (WIN!).

Their relationship is relatively new and has never been announced or explained to Mr X. He has just come to understand that they are together on his own.
I've never had to have a conversation with him about the fact that his Aunt is with a woman and not a man.
He has never asked.
He just sees two people that are happy and in love and accepts that.

I love how simple things are in the eyes of my three year old.
Love is love.

Mr X shocked me today when he took defiance to whole a new level..

Today my beautiful grandmother came over to help me with the children.
The kids already have a strong association with their Mimi and sweet treats. She always has an abundance of home-baked deliciousness when we visit. Today was no different, she came bearing biscuits, cupcakes and dinner - bless her!

Mr X had already indulged in quite a few cupcakes and biscuits when he came to me and asked for yet another cupcake. I explained that he had already had too many and didn't need any more sugar.
Up until now, this would have resulted in a rather dramatic sigh, head drop and pout combo followed by an "Oh.. Ok.." And that would have been the end of it.

Today, a few minutes after refusing him, I noticed Mr X emerging from under the desk with pink icing all over his face and an empty cupcake wrapper.
The little rascal had snuck a cupcake off the bench and hidden under the desk to eat it!!
This is certainly a new level of defiance in our house.
I think I will have to be much more vigilant with any sweets in the house from now on!

My first week as a mum of four I never expected this to happen..

My first week of being a mum of four has been amazing, crazy, exhausting, exciting and so full of joy.
There are so many things to share about this week, but one thing I certainly didn't expect to happen was to have my twins play their very first prank on us..
Our discipline strategy is time out. The girls have only recently started to be disciplined this way and they seem to be responding well.. Until yesterday...
Miss I was in time out.
Josh and I were busy going about our business of the day with the other kids..
When Josh went to get Miss I out of time out, he was faced with a rather cheeky faced Miss C happily sitting in her sister's place! Looking around for Miss I (all the while seriously struggling to maintain a straight face and stern tone) we find her happily settled in front of the TV.
I can not believe that our ONE YEAR OLD twins have started to prank us by switching places already.. I think we have many years of laughs to come with these cheeky little rascals.

Housework Tips For The Time-Poor Mum

Keeping up with the house work can be tricky.. Here are my survival tips to doing housework with little ones running around..

- Cleaning rosters are great. I update mine every now and then to suit the changing needs of the family.  The most important thing is not to let yourself be upset if you don't get around to some things. I am notorious for beating myself up for not achieving what I 'should'. It's not there to be rigid, but rather to help you remember what needs to be done and not fall behind in an area because of baby brain!!
Here is my roster at the moment to show you what I mean..

- Tubs for toys makes tidying easy. I am trying to teach the kids to tidy up each activity before getting the next one, but a lot of our toys are in reach and it's difficult to keep up with all three of them! By having tubs, at the end of the day I can race around and have the place tidy in a minute or two rather than having to go back and forth 100 times. 

I also believe that by having the toys out on display like this means that there is less mess overall, as they aren't rummaging through a big toy basket to find something. 

- Use natural products where possible. This means that the kids are not being exposed to a cocktail of chemicals at home and they can even help with cleaning! My favourites are lavender oil spray (5 drops to 1l water) and eucalyptus oil spray ( 5 drops to 1l water) and vinegar (either straight or half vinegar and half water). These are natural cleaners and disinfectants and smell lovely and fresh. 

- Have a few extra baskets in the laundry so that you don't have to sort the clothes when you do the washing. 

I have three up on a shelf - kids clothes, lights and darks. The clothes get thrown in to each basket every day as we go and makes putting a wash on so very quick and easy. 

Babies on a Budget

Having three babies so close together while still learning how to run a household, budget, kitchen and be a wife can be a very interesting and stressful time.. Somewhere along the way Josh and I decided to let me run the books.. I am much more enthusiastic about budgeting and as you may know, I love lists. I organise my budget (and whole life really!) with lists. I like how empowered and organised I feel having everything written out from weekly expenses to shopping lists.

Although I understand that babies are much cheaper to provide for than teenagers, when you have babies you are often learning how to live off one income for the first time and it actually matters if you run out of money.. Before it just meant that you couldn’t go out drinking on Friday night and now it means that you may not have money for formula, nappies, baby panadol or food. Budgeting takes on a whole new meaning when you become a family.

I will admit that I absolutely have not got this perfect, but here is what I have learnt budgeting for three babies and two adults on one income…

1. Huggies Nappies are really not the bees knees. Unless your child has a reaction to the cheaper nappies do not feel like you need to buy expensive brands. Aldi nappies work perfectly fine. As do most of the others on the market! I shop the sales, I mostly buy BabyLove nappies, they work well and have been on sale quite often down at woolies and I stockpile with sales.. As I side note, I do not agree when it comes to wipes. There is NOTHING I dislike more when changing nappies than for the contents to end up all over me or my hands. Even though the other brands are cheaper, I end up using lots more per change. Huggies win in the wipes department.

2. Don’t be afraid of the cheaper cuts at the butcher. You generally need to slow cook these cuts, but if you do your research and find recipes that you can handle, this can make a big difference to your weekly shop. Also when you babies are learning to eat, slow cooked foods are nice and soft for finger foods, mashing and pureeing.

3. Make a thorough list for groceries and stick to it! I found shopping online makes this easier and you can also review your trolley and how much you’ve spent before submitting. If you don’t want to pay the delivery fee, you can just order to pick up in store and it is completely free!

3. Make a meal plan for the week. I know I have said this before, but it is a big one! Check it every morning so your meat has time to thaw and you can keep in mind your time management to cook throughout the day. This prevents any need to do a take away night, which adds up very quickly. As those days are always bound to come where you simply haven’t had the chance to get dinner ready, I like to keep a couple of cheat meals in the freezer. (My gorgeous Aunt brings me quiches, these freeze and thaw well as well as quite quickly) I also make homemade vegetable and sausage rolls, chicken pies, and any casseroles to freeze.

4. Homebrand and Aldi are really quite good. I have tried most things that I buy from the supermarket in homebrand and love shopping at Aldi. The only things I stick to brands are garbage bags, toilet paper, baby wipes and tissues. I save so much money this way, and honestly no one has complained about it!

5. Bill Smoothing is a wonderful thing. As hard as I try to budget, when the big bills come, there is rarely enough there.. Gas and electricity can be huge in our house! I have bill smoothing in place which means I pay a set amount every week and never have to come up with money for the quarterly bill. It’s easy to set up, you just have to find the time to talk to your provider.

Hope this helps those who are learning to budget too!

How To Survive Sleep Deprivation

When you have your first baby, advice is to sleep when baby sleeps and to let the housework take a back seat. 

So, what about when you have a toddler and a newborn?

Or children who haven't let you sleep for a week?

Here are my tips for functioning with sleep deprivation and a toddler or three.. 

Make lists. 

All rational brain function is non existent when sleep deprived. Make lists of what needs to be done so that you can tick it off as you go through the day. It may seem silly to write down that you need to change baby's nappy after a nap or what times everyone needs to be fed. But if you are anything like me - without it, you may be wondering why everyone is screaming at you only to realise that it's 2pm and you forgot to feed anyone lunch. 

Let the tears wash over you and the cuddles fill your heart. 

When everyone is tired there are plenty of tears, tantrums and lots of little people who need you to fill their love banks. If you let their crying drain your own emotional tank, it's not long until you are on the floor crying with them. 

I do my best to let their tears wash over me and use the cuddles that they need to help fill my heart and give me the strength to keep going.

Get some fresh air.
If you can, get out of the house. Go for a walk and breathe some fresh air. A bit of sunshine and being out of the confines of the four walls can help everyone. Especially Mum - if nothing else, at least the crying sounds quieter out in the open air!

Eat well and drink water. 

This one is harder than it sounds. Today for example, I have had a whole block of chocolate because I am having a hard day on the end of a hard week and I am suffering for it. 

Try to choose foods with slow releasing energy so that you don't have to experience the blood sugar crash that forces you onto the couch. Reach for some nuts over the chocolate if you can! Same goes for drinking water. Keeping well hydrated will help get through each day and by choosing water over sugary drinks, you won't have that crash that can flatten you when you least need it. 

How is Screen Time Affecting Your Relationships?

"Mum! Turn around." Mr X holds my face with two hands and faces it towards him to get my attention.
"Phone off Mum."
The fact that this had to happen at all breaks my heart.

Reality is, I am just addicted to my devices as the next person. I try really hard to use my phone and tablet when the kids aren't around, but I have as much self control with technology as I do with sugar (See '5 Lies I Tell Myself Everyday').

So often I find myself only half paying attention to my family. I'm scrolling through my newsfeed while outside with my kids, searching Pinterest while chatting with the kids over lunch or sitting next to Josh on the lounge - both glued to our phones.
I feel like I use it as an 'escape' so that I feel connected to other adults during the day, maybe it's a coping mechanism so that I don't feel so isolated and alone.

However, it's a terrible addiction that steals away time from your life. Time with your kids and partner, and time achieving daily tasks.

As I have been thinking about my project for next month - Making Memories in August, I have been pondering how I can change my daily interactions with my kids and husband to make our lives better. The conclusion I have come to is that I need to put my devices down.

I have decided that hand in hand with my Making Memories project, I'm going to drastically cut down my screen time and I challenge you to do the same for the next month. I know that being a stay at home parent in particular is isolating and lonely, which is why I'm not ready to swear off it entirely, but I want to make an effort to be present with my kids more often.

I challenge you to think about how much time you spend multitasking with a device or taking 'time out' to be on them.
 I would love to hear how you feel it affects your relationships.

Let's be totally in the moment more often.

For under $50, I feel and look like a million dollars! If I may say so myself..

This week I read an article on Babycenter about the best makeup to be using during pregnancy and motherhood. They claimed it would help with how tired I look (and boy, do I need that!!!) and give me a young, healthy glow...
Having been unhappy with my makeup  for a while (on the days I have the chance to do it..) I figured I would give it a go!
 I changed from Nude by Nature pressed powder with a powder blush and stick concealer, to a BB cream, cream blush and liquid concealer. As you can see, I didn't buy top of the range, just affordable brands.

 I applied everything to the same areas as usual..
 I think the results speak for themselves - not to downplay the importance of the fact that it takes about 1/4 of the time to do my face in the morning.

 These photos were taken only ten minutes apart!

 I feel like I am winning on all fronts.
What are your makeup tips?

What Koala Lou can teach you about bringing home a new baby

Oh my do I LOVE this book.

This book is a fantastic description of what can happen to the older sibling when you bring home a new baby.
When you have a newborn in addition to an older sibling, you are sleep deprived, hormonal and VERY busy.
It's easy to overlook the little things that you used to do with your first child pre-baby.

In the book, Koala Lou goes to great lengths to get Mummy's attention and to feel loved again.

Our children need to know that they are just as important to you as their sibling and you love them just as much, in their own special way.
If you can understand how your child feels loved (5 Love Languages of Children is a great resource!), then you are able to ensure that they still feel connected and special despite the amount of time needed to care for the new arrival.

When Mr X is angry, sooky and mean to the twins, it is often because he is depleted and feeling left out or unloved. Having this book on my shelf is a good way to remind me to do special things with my little man.
It is also a great book to read to your kids to help them understand how much mummy loves them, even if she is busy and looking after the baby.

The Best Advice I Received As A New Mother

As a new parent, you get bombarded with advice from every person you have ever met. A lot of it I found extremely unhelpful, contradictory, and sometimes really offensive.

These are the three that I found the most helpful and I still live by. 

1 - You can't spoil a baby 

I can't tell you how many people have offered their opinion on how I should have been settling and responding to my children. 

The good old "a baby never died from crying" chestnut.

 I have felt pressured to let my babies cry it out or at least cry for 'just a minute' because they can't think you will come every time they cry. 

Actually they can - because I will. I loved having twins because it gave me an excuse to go straight in and comfort my baby incase the other woke up. 

If that's the method you want to use - that's fantastic! I'm just saying don't feel like you have to be doing it just because that's what others are telling you to do. 

You can't spoil a baby. Don't feel bad for giving them what you are wired to do - comfort them. 

2 - The smell of the house can change everything

A house that smells good appears cleaner and more welcoming. There are a few different things that make me look like a much more efficient housewife and only take seconds to do that I turn to regularly. 

Lavender spray - I have a bottle of water and lavender oil to spritz if I have anyone arriving.. This gives the allusion of recent cleaning..

Cooking - if Josh is about to walk in the door and I want to look like wonder woman, I throw some butter and onion in a pan quickly.. Then the mess on the floor is not the first thing he notices, he walks in the door saying "something smells good!!" and thinking I'm just amazing for being so freaking organised. 

Bleach - yep, I don't clean the bathrooms as often as I should.. But if I need to make everything seem freshly cleaned, I splash some bleach in the toilet and light a candle, if it smells scrubbed, that's good enough for today!

3 - Don't try to tidy up during the day

This one I heard back when Mr X was born but didn't pay any attention to until now. It made no sense in my head, I kept thinking that if I ran around picking up toys and wiping down surfaces all day long that by the time kids were in bed, the house would be cleaner overall. 

It's really not. I would spend all day cleaning up after three toddlers and at the end of the day, my house still looked like a natural disaster had hit. 

Now I clean and tidy when the kids are in bed. 

Anything before then is pointless. I am a much more relaxed mother for it. 

5 Lies I Tell Myself Everyday

1 - I won't eat sweets today

One of the challenges of being a stay at home mum is that if there is any junk food in the house, you are tempted all day every day. Every morning I wake up thinking "today I am going to start to eat healthy" and come 9:30 I'm squatting behind the fridge door secretly stuffing my face with caramel slice. 

2 - I won't turn the tv on today

I have such good intentions when it comes to limiting or eliminating screen time for my kids in the morning. On the best of days, I'll get to horror hour and crack under the pressure of trying to cook dinner with Miss I and Miss C simultaneously trying to climb my legs while screaming and Mr X trying to 'help' me with the chopping. I'm sure my neighbours would have heard me yelling " OK!!! Who is ready to watch some Wiggles/Frozen/Shrek" at around the same time most days. 

3 - I won't bribe the kids with food

I never wanted to be a mother that used food to get what I want. Every morning I am determined to stop. However...

The three magic words in my house are "bikkies", "bananas" and "toast" and these things can give me a trip to the toilet solo, the chance to hide with my caramel slice or get a job done that requires two hands.  

If I'm honest, right now I'm handing out bikkies just to get this done. 

4 - I will catch up on the laundry

I am the first to admit that I suck at keeping up with the washing. Because it doesn't shout or cry at me to get attention and its hidden behind a door, I just don't remember. 

Despite my best intentions, I think my whole family should just get used to fishing clean clothes out of a basket for the time being. 

5 - I will get so much housework done while the girls sleep

On the days that the twins actually sleep at the same time, I have a list of cleaning that should be achieved. You know, the stuff that's too hard to do with toddlers and I'm too tired to do at nighttime - mopping, bathrooms etc. 

Instead, every time this happens I sit down for just a second to catch up on Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest and then all of a sudden it's been an hour, I've eaten three packets of chips and everyone is up again. Oops!

Transitioning to Toddler Beds..

We decided to transition the twins into toddler beds before our next little bundle comes along..

The first night was last night.
Josh and I reviewed what we learnt at Tresillian with Mr X and tried to implement the same method with the girls.

Baby gate on the door, nothing but beds in the room.
Go in every time they get out of bed, don't speak and put them straight back into bed.
 Shushing for comfort from outside the door, just out of sight.

Last night I had my amazing child settler (Josh) to help me through. He did a brilliant job and had them down in a matter of 20 minutes!! However I have found, for whatever reason, the kids tend to be a lot more difficult and emotional for me.. So I was more than a little nervous when I had to do it all on my own!!

So, this morning I set myself up just out of sight and spent 45 minutes going in and out putting girls in bed - I must say, it's slightly more challenging with twins (and certainly without Josh!!) but I feel so proud that I have succeeded!!

I like the methods Tresillian implement for this transition, because I am offering a verbal comfort, they learn that bed time means bed time, and they learn to self settle.
How old were your kids when you put them in beds?