This is the first step.

I'm terrible at asking anyone for help. I am one of those people who tries to do everything on my own because I don't feel comfortable telling people that I'm not coping.
I mean, they are my children - so I should be able to handle them on my own, right?

 But this characteristic has one terrible consequence.. Because you can't reach out, you slowly get closer and closer to breaking point. Everyone's breaking point is different.

Today, after four months with a new baby living on up to 4 hours sleep a night, two tantruming and sleepless toddlers and a threenager - I've realised that I'm too close.
Too close to losing control, too close to my breaking point.
Today I'm asking for help. I'm seeing my GP because he can get me into Tresillian.

This is a magical place, filled with magical people that spend their days and nights helping you find routine, get your children to sleep, and give you techniques to get through when you've reached this point.
 When you feel like you've tried everything and you are still under water.

I feel completely defeated, beyond exhausted and totally useless - but I'm also determined to get the help I need to look after my family. They need me, so I need to find help.

If you need help, your GP can help you too. There are so many people and organisations that are there ready to do just that.

To find out more about Tresillian visit:
https://www.tresillian.org.au/

Surviving the tantrum years with your strong-willed child (x 3)

I have 3 very spirited and very gorgeous children.. There are many tactics I use on a daily basis to survive each curveball my little angels throw at me..
Remember it's all about will power, you only have to be just stronger than them. I mean, they're toddlers.. How hard can it be?? Haha..

1. Distraction - I become extremely engrossed in a task and make it seem rather exciting.. This is my first attempt to stop a toddler in the early tantrum stages. I use the 'dinner theory' - if I'm enjoying it, they want to be doing it/eating it too.

2. Encouragement - this gem is one of my mums from when I was her little angel. I pretend I'm really enjoying their tantrum and encourage them to scream louder/kick harder/ cry longer. Because as you know, a strong-willed tantrum thrower never wants to do what mum wants, and this sometimes will be enough to stop a tantrum even in full swing. Warning - it may also make it worse.. Awesome right?

3. Water off a duck's back - this one I use when I have multiple children screaming at once and I need to address one problem at a time. I am the kind of person that feels very emotional when my kids cry. So, I visualise the crying washing over me but not affecting me so that I can focus on meeting my kids needs one at a time. This one is for those bad days when you haven't quite reached #4 desperation.. Yet..

4. Denial - another of my mum's methods (yes, I was a such a gift of a child to my mother). This tactic is all about pretending that these aren't your children. Now, this one you reserve for those super bad days. Yes, you go about caring for them but you mentally separate yourself from the situation so as not to break down crying. I say things to myself like - "oh that poor mother", "how trying for that mother to have to endure that" and "gosh, my heart goes out to her, I should pour her some wine..".  I know this may seem drastic (and a little crazy!), but I assure you, if you have strong-willed children, some days it is 100% necessary to maintain your sanity.

You can do this! I'd love to hear your tactics too! I always need fresh ideas with my ever-changing precious little bundles.

The Threenager Emerges

My beautiful boy has been going through some changes lately.. He has decided (finally!) that he is ready for toilet training, he all of a sudden dislikes all foods that aren't watermelon, cheese and crackers, and he has grown an attitude.

These are all normal and expected at his age. So at least I may find comfort in the thought that most other mums of three years olds are going through the same thing..
However, it doesn't make the attitude any easier to parent..

Let me give you an example from earlier today..
Mr X "I want some watermelon".
Me (raised eyebrows) "That's not how you ask for something. Try again."
Mr X *mumbling quietly*
Me "I'm sorry, I can't hear you. What would you like?"
Mr X "I TOLD YOU FOUR TIMES!"
I had to turn around so he did not see me laugh.

Who is this and what has he done with my boy? I am still in shock at this attitude.

What's your favourite threenager story?

Knowing Your Worth

Just for fun, this morning I decided to work out how much I am worth as a stay at home mum in terms of money.

 I know many mums sadly can't afford to stay home and must go work, I understand that would be so hard - you're all rockstars!!

I also know that it's difficult to feel like you aren't contributing to the financial struggles of the family if you stay home.
So with that in mind, I decided to add up an average of how much my services would cost if they were performed by someone else, to give me a sense of my financial contribution so to speak.

This is only the things I do during 'work' hours..

If I'm being very conservative, I would say I do one hour of housework a day during work hours. At $25 an hour for 5 days - that's $125

Childcare on average for children 0-3yrs, 5 days a week comes out at $500 each. For for the 'average' family of two, you're providing $1000 of care each week!

So, based on only doing minimal housework, the 'average' stay at home mum of two is earning a whopping $58,500 a year! That's higher than the average single full time salary right there without even looking into all the other things we do!

For me, knowing my salary worth gives me a massive sense of self worth and I feel as though I too am financially valuable to the family even if it isn't coming in to my bank account each week.

Basically, what I want to reinforce is that whether you are a working mum or a stay at home mum, your time is so valuable and you are making a huge contribution to your family financially.
Go you good thing!!

Double Trouble? No. Double Snuggles.

Last night my poor little Miss I was in pain and having trouble falling asleep.
 She is so different to her twin sister, she needs more touches to fill up her 'love bank' and requires a much gentler approach in general. As I sat next to her bed, waiting for her to drift off and I was thinking about just how incredibly lucky I am.
I get double kisses, double cuddles, double love.
I have two beautiful, kind, stubborn, loving, strong-willed and spirited little twin girls.

This morning I was reflecting on how important those moments are.
The quiet moments, the loving cuddles.
They make me really appreciate my girls.
So many strangers unknowingly make hurtful comments about twins - "double trouble", "you've got your hands full!", "better you than me!".
The more you hear these things, the easier it is to think this way.
Remember - Twins are a blessing.
  am so thankful for my girls. Double trouble? No. Double snuggles!!

My Mission in Life - Minimising Housework

My house can look immaculate one minute and like bomb has exploded the next. In order to maintain some degree of sanity, these are the things that I have started doing.. 

Every person is allocated one cup, one plate and one set of cutlery to last each day. After each use, they are quickly rinsed and placed in the dish rack until the next meal or snack. The dishwasher only then gets packed and run each evening. Otherwise, I would need to run the dishwasher 3 times a day. Literally. 

Mini hand held vacuums are extremely handy. I only got one recently and I LOVE IT. It means those little messes that appear after every meal take a mere 20 seconds to clean up, and prevents them from spreading all through the house. 

It also means that the vacuuming at the end of the day takes half the time!

Use your little helpers. As frustrating or stressful as it can be to have 'help' with the housework.. If you give them the right jobs, it can reduce your stress and your work load.

 My kids love cleaning with spray bottles and cloths. This is a job that they can do independantly and is hard to make big messes. They wipe down the tables, clean the windows, cupboard doors and occasionally the floor (if I just need to occupy them for a bit longer!).

All the while they are learning life skills,  burning energy and having fun!!

Have a 'tidy up' time at the end of the day with your kids. Before horror hour hits, put on some music and tidy up together. By the time the kids are two, they are perfectly capable of helping put the toys away. I'm the first to admit that I forget to do this most of the time. But I am going to do my best to make this part of our routine.
I think it is both beneficial and important for my kids to be a part of tidying every day.

Please God, make the wind stop.

Growing up as the daughter of a primary school teacher has affected me in many ways. I have strong opinions about names, I am very conscious of spelling and grammar, and I love lists.

One of the many things I learnt from my mum was that children behave terribly in windy weather.. Although, I never understood how she came to this conclusion... Until today.

Today is incredibly windy and my children are acting as though they have been eating red frogs all morning, haven't slept for two days and hate everything in the world.

I am getting through today minute by minute and trying my hardest to love my children through their many, many tantrums. Most importantly, I am resisting doing what I feel like doing - yelling, crying and drinking wine.